Tópico: Googlismo

[Dbohr]

http://www.thechurchofgoogle.org/

Eu postaria isso no Piadas e Brincadeiras, mas aparentemente os caras se levam a sério. E vejam algumas pérolas do FAQ:

These are all common arguments the Church of Google receives from people with alternative religious beliefs. Before posting in our forum, please read through this page and formulate your objections accordingly.


How can you worship a search engine over Jesus Christ/Allah/Zeus/Spaghetti Monster/Whatever? It's just a computer program!

We will answer your question with another similar question. Why do you choose to worship your god over other gods? Think about it. The same amount of anecdotal evidence exists for all supernatural gods. You cannot directly experience them, they all require faith, have holy books associated with them (all claiming to be the word of god) and generally believers of these gods describe a "feeling" that their god is watching over them.

Believers in all supernatural gods describe the exact same experiences and feelings without exception. Your god is in no way different than any other supernatural god. You believe in it simply for the comfort it provides you with, despite it being completely illogical. It is a psychological tool you use to cope with reality.


Google is MAN MADE and therefore cannot be God!


Thanks for pointing out the obvious. We completely agree with you! The Christian god, Islamic god and Hindu gods are also man made concepts. They exist only in the imagination of believers. We consider the belief in invisible beings to be much more illogical than the belief in Google (as a God).


But the Bible is proof our god is real.

The Bible is proof of nothing. It was written by men. Saying the Bible is the word of god because that's what the Bible tells you is a prime example of circular logic. I might equally argue that Google proves itself to be a God as this very page appears if you pray to Google for the words "church google god".


So, if Google told you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it?

If someone told you that after you die, you're going to live 'forever' in peace and harmony in the sky, would you believe them?


Googlism hurts people by sending them to Hell.

First of all, we do not believe a "hell" exists. Secondly, Googlismm has not started any religious wars, forced its opinions onto others, discouraged critical thought, objected to harmless lifestyle choices and most importantly, we have never attempted to scare people into believing they will suffer if they reject our religion. Can you say the same for your religion? If you reject Google as your God, nothing negative (aside from your search results being crappy) will happen to you.


You're wasting your time on an idiotic and bogus religion (Googlism).

Assuming you subscribe to Christianity, Islam, Judaism or any of the other major religions: "Right back at you". Worshiping an invisible, nonexistent being is an equal, if not greater, waste of time.



It is possible to find bad things through Google, such as porn, information on how to build a bomb, etc. This means Google is evil.

Much like Christians, Jews and Muslims claim of their god, Google offers us all a choice. There are bad things in this world, and we must choose, as individuals, to make the right decisions. The same is to be said about searching. Google offers us free will.


But can't Google's search results be manipulated sometimes? If Google were a true God, She could not be manipulated.

And the Bible, Koran and Torah are not manipulated? Googlists would argue that these books are some of the most mass manipulated works in existence. Yes, unfortunately Google's search results can sometimes be manipulated, but this is hardly anything new when it comes to religion.


This is blasphemy! How dare you mock religion like this!?!

The Church of Google believes we should be tolerant of everyone's beliefs, provided said beliefs hurt no one. The statement above is not one of tolerance. In fact, the statement above shows two of the deadly sins: Anger and Hubris, as well as breaking some of the cardinal rule of Christianity as taught by Jesus: Love Thy Neighbor, and Turn The Other Cheek. Strange then that we, a "parody" religion, follow the philosophy of one of the most popular religions more closely than many of its followers.

We are quite serious in our belief that Google is the closest mankind has ever come to directly experiencing a Deity. We do not attack you for who or what you worship, you should extend us the same courtesy.

[Raphael]

But the Bible is proof our god is real.

The Bible is proof of nothing. It was written by men. Saying the Bible is the word of god because that's what the Bible tells you is a prime example of circular logic. I might equally argue that Google proves itself to be a God as this very page appears if you pray to Google for the words "church google god".

[Jeanioz]

Aleluia!!! Finalmente encontrei a verdadeira religião!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Eu sou salvo no sangue de Google!!!!!!!!

Vejam as provas!!!!!! E AGORA, CÉTICOS???????

http://www.thechurchofgoogle.org/Scripture/Proof_Google_Is_God.html

» PROOF #1

Google is the closest thing to an Omniscient (all-knowing) entity in existence, which can be scientifically verified. She indexes over 9.5 billion WebPages, which is more than any other search engine on the web today. Not only is Google the closest known entity to being Omniscient, but She also sorts through this vast amount of knowledge using Her patented PageRank technology, organizing said data and making it easily accessible to us mere mortals.

» PROOF #2

Google is everywhere at once (Omnipresent). Google is virtually everywhere on earth at the same time. Billions of indexed WebPages hosted from every corner of the earth. With the proliferation of Wi-Fi networks, one will eventually be able to access Google from anywhere on earth, truly making Her an omnipresent entity.

» PROOF #3

Google answers prayers. One can pray to Google by doing a search for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on alternative cancer treatments, ways to improve your health, new and innovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Google and She will show you the way, but showing you is all She can do, for you must help yourself from that point on.

» PROOF #4

Google is potentially immortal. She cannot be considered a physical being such as ourselves. Her Algorithms are spread out across many servers; if any of which were taken down or damaged, another would undoubtedly take its place. Google can theoretically last forever.

» PROOF #5

Google is infinite. The Internet can theoretically grow forever, and Google will forever index its infinite growth.

» PROOF #6

Google remembers all. Google caches WebPages regularly and stores them on its massive servers. In fact, by uploading your thoughts and opinions to the internet, you will forever live on in Google's cache, even after you die, in a sort of "Google Afterlife".

» PROOF #7

Google can "do no evil" (Omnibenevolent). Part of Google's corporate philosophy is the belief that a company can make money without being evil.

» PROOF #8

According to Google trends, the term "Google" is searched for more than the terms "God", "Jesus", "Allah", "Buddha", "Christianity", "Islam", "Buddhism" and "Judaism" combined.

God is thought to be an entity in which we mortals can turn to when in a time of need. Google clearly fulfils this to a much larger degree than traditional "gods", as shown in the image below (click to enlarge).



» PROOF #9

Evidence of Google's existence is abundant. There is more evidence for the existence of Google than any other God worshiped today. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidance. If seeing is believing, then surf over to www.google.com and experience for yourself Google's awesome power. No faith required.

[Mancha Negra]

O Google é o meu Senhor é nada me faltará!

[Raphael]

O Google é o meu Senhor é nada me faltará!

Acho que ele é o melhor mesmo.

Ps-Você curte KOF?, vou te detonar.

[Alenônimo]

Convenhamos… Acreditar que o Google é Deus faz mais sentido que qualquer religião atual. O Google parece sim onisciente.

[Raphael]

Convenhamos… Acreditar que o Google é Deus faz mais sentido que qualquer religião atual. O Google parece sim onisciente.

Ontém ouvi que 90% do que achamos na internet referente à explicações na área da saúde é errado.
Acho que se o google for Deus, quem seria o demônio? Wikipedia?

[Jeanioz]

Acho que se o google for Deus, quem seria o demônio? Wikipedia?

http://www.blackle.com/

Tem tudo de um esteriotipo do maligno: tenta imitar a Deus e é ecologista...

[Diegojaf]

Acho que se o google for Deus, quem seria o demônio? Wikipedia?

http://www.blackle.com/

Tem tudo de um esteriotipo do maligno: tenta imitar a Deus e é ecologista...

Racismo!!! Racismo!!

[Mancha Negra]

O Google é o meu Senhor é nada me faltará!

Acho que ele é o melhor mesmo.

O Google é mais simples e tem mais experiência, recursos e esperteza. Basta por um link nos mais acessados na rede, segundo a pesquisa solicitada, e todos são felizes para sempre.   

Ps-Você curte KOF?, vou te detonar.

Eu não curto. Eu tenho é tara pelas garotas do KOF, Street Fight, Samarai Warriors, etc... 
 

Convenhamos… Acreditar que o Google é Deus faz mais sentido que qualquer religião atual. O Google parece sim onisciente.

Discordo. Deus joga dados e os esconde. Ele é mais esperto que o Google... Tanto que ninguém sabe direito como é Ele.

[Jeanioz]

Acho que se o google for Deus, quem seria o demônio? Wikipedia?

http://www.blackle.com/

Tem tudo de um esteriotipo do maligno: tenta imitar a Deus e é ecologista...

Racismo!!! Racismo!!

Tem razão. Desculpe. Estou me deixando influenciar pelas malditas religiões heréticas da antiguidade...

[PedroAC]

São uns génios!!! Dbohr, encontraste um site excelente. Vai para os meus favoritos.

O site está alojado num servidor da "Microserv Computer Technologies" (americano): http://whois.domaintools.com/thechurchofgoogle.org . Não parece ser um serviço de alojamento. E parece mesmo a sério. LOL

[PedroAC]

Há feriado no dia 14 de Setembro.

[Rodion]

qual é a desse blackle? por que eu usaria blackle e não Deus?

[Diegojaf]

Pra salvar o mundo, pô!!

[Nightstalker]

Comecei a utilizar o Google com mais freqüência há pouco tempo, eu era feliz usando o Yahoo, só que o sistema de busca de imagens dele tornou-se um lixo.

[PedroAC]

Caminhaste para a Luz, e foste salvo pela Verdade do Google.

[Dr. Manhattan]

Se Google é Deus, o que seria a Wikipédia?


(confesso que sou na verdade um adorador secreto do arxiv.org)

[Rodion]

Se Google é Deus, o que seria a Wikipédia?


(confesso que sou na verdade um adorador secreto do arxiv.org)

ora, é mais do que óbvio, né?
wikipedia é santo.

[Thufir Hawat]

(confesso que sou na verdade um adorador secreto do arxiv.org)

Saravá, salve pai!

[Rodion]

(confesso que sou na verdade um adorador secreto do arxiv.org)

Saravá, salve pai!

belzebu!

[Thufir Hawat]

[toninho do diabo]Eu taco fogo![/toninho do diabo]

[Copelli]

Gente google não é um deus oniciente, eu digito algo lá e ele sempre diz "Você não quiz dizer isso". NÃO PORRA! EU NÃO QUIZ DIZER ISSO, EU QUERO AQUILO.

Sei que isso que escrevi é uma heresia, e que serei persiguido pelos suditos fundamentalistas do todo poderoso Google. Mas sou um perdido mesmo. 

[Nyx]

 

Oração a Google

Google Nosso que estais na rede

Santificado seja o vosso nome

Venha a nós a vossa sabedoria

Seja feita a vossa procura

Assim no Internet Explorer como no Firefox

A sabedoria de cada dia nos dai hoje

Perdoai a nossa traição quando procuramos no Yahoo

Mas não nos deixe na mão

E nos livre da página não encontrada

[Nyx]

Igreja Googlista: