Tópico: Os melhores sarcasmos

[Moro]

I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed. // Shakespeare


“Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.”- Emo Phillips

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
     Stephen Bishop.
"I had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
     Groucho Marx.
"The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation, but not the power of speech."
     George Bernard Shaw.
"Some cause happiness wherever they go, some whenever they go."
     Oscar Wilde.
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
     Mark Twain.
"Reader, suppose you were an idiot.And suppose you were a member of congress. But, I repeat myself."
     Mark Twain.
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
     Billy Wilder.

[Moro]

From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."

"He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot."

"I could dance with you till the cows come home...But I would rather dance with the cows till you come home."


Groucho Marx

[Moro]

 Arnold Schwarzenegger

 
Egotistically sarcastic:  "Money doesn't make you happy.  I have 50 million dollars now but I was just as happy when I only had 48 million."

Hypocritically sarcastic:  "I have a private plane.  But I fly commercial when I attend environmental conferences."

Unintentionally sarcastic:  "Maria [Shriver] is the best reason to come home."

Homophobically sarcastic:  "I think gay marriage should be between a man and a woman."

And finally, AWESOMELY, AH-NOLDLY sarcastic:  "Of all the numerous awards I have received in my lifetime, this is without a doubt the most ... recent."

[Moro]

There is no 'I' in team but there are four in 'platitude quoting idiot'. "

[Moro]

"We don't serve women here, You have to bring your own."



George Bernard Shaw telegrammed Winston Churchill just prior to the opening of Major Barbara: "Have reserved two tickets for first night. Come and bring a friend if you have one."

Churchill wired back, "Impossible to come to first night. Will come to second night, if you have one."




Nancy Astor was a native Virginian who became Britain’s first woman member of the House of Commons. In the 1930’s she headed a clique in the House of Commons that found something to admire in Hitler’s Germany. Churchill described an Astorite as an appeaser "who feeds the crocodile hoping that it will eat him last." One time shortly thereafter, Churchill found himself at Cliveden, the Astor mansion.
After dinner Lady Astor presided over the pouring of coffee. When Churchill came by, she glared and said. "Winston, if I were your wife, I’d put poison in your coffee." "Nancy," Churchill replied to the acid-tongued woman, "if I were your husband, I’d drink it."

[Johnny Cash]

Arnold Schwarzenegger

 
Egotistically sarcastic:  "Money doesn't make you happy.  I have 50 million dollars now but I was just as happy when I only had 48 million."

Hypocritically sarcastic:  "I have a private plane.  But I fly commercial when I attend environmental conferences."

Unintentionally sarcastic:  "Maria [Shriver] is the best reason to come home."

Homophobically sarcastic:  "I think gay marriage should be between a man and a woman."

And finally, AWESOMELY, AH-NOLDLY sarcastic:  "Of all the numerous awards I have received in my lifetime, this is without a doubt the most ... recent."

 

Superb!

[Moro]

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
-Oscar Wilde


He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright


"I'm sorry, you  must have confused me with someone who gives a damn."

“The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money.”   ― Margaret Thatcher

[Moro]