Tópico: [Video] A WITCH!! Monty Phyton

[Luis Brudna]

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transcricao



CROWD:
A witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! We've found a witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch! A witch! A witch! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! We've found a witch! We've found a witch! A witch! A witch! A witch!

VILLAGER #1:
We have found a witch. May we burn her?

CROWD:
Burn her! Burn! Burn her! Burn her!

BEDEVERE:
How do you know she is a witch?

VILLAGER #2:
She looks like one.

CROWD:
Right! Yeah! Yeah!

BEDEVERE:
Bring her forward.

WITCH:
I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.

BEDEVERE:
Uh, but you are dressed as one.

WITCH:
They dressed me up like this.

CROWD:
Augh, we didn't! We didn't...

WITCH:
And this isn't my nose. It's a false one.

BEDEVERE:
Well?

VILLAGER #1:
Well, we did do the nose.

BEDEVERE:
The nose?

VILLAGER #1:
And the hat, but she is a witch!

VILLAGER #2:
Yeah!

CROWD:
We burn her! Right! Yeaaah! Yeaah!

BEDEVERE:
Did you dress her up like this?

VILLAGER #1:
No!

VILLAGER #2 and 3:
No. No.

VILLAGER #2:
No.

VILLAGER #1:
No.

VILLAGERS #2 and #3:
No.

VILLAGER #1:
Yes.

VILLAGER #2:
Yes.

VILLAGER #1:
Yes. Yeah, a bit.

VILLAGER #3:
A bit.

VILLAGERS #1 and #2:
A bit.

VILLAGER #3:
A bit.

VILLAGER #1:
She has got a wart.

RANDOM:
[cough]

BEDEVERE:
What makes you think she is a witch?

VILLAGER #3:
Well, she turned me into a newt.

BEDEVERE:
A newt?

VILLAGER #3:
I got better.

VILLAGER #2:
Burn her anyway!

VILLAGER #1:
Burn!

CROWD:
Burn her! Burn! Burn her!...

BEDEVERE:
Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.

VILLAGER #1:
Are there?

VILLAGER #2:
Ah?

VILLAGER #1:
What are they?

CROWD:
Tell us! Tell us!...

BEDEVERE:
Tell me. What do you do with witches?

VILLAGER #2:
Burn!

VILLAGER #1:
Burn!

CROWD:
Burn! Burn them up! Burn!...

BEDEVERE:
And what do you burn apart from witches?

VILLAGER #1:
More witches!

VILLAGER #3:
Shh!

VILLAGER #2:
Wood!

BEDEVERE:
So, why do witches burn?
[pause]

VILLAGER #3:
B--... 'cause they're made of... wood?

BEDEVERE:
Good! Heh heh.

CROWD:
Oh, yeah. Oh.

BEDEVERE:
So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?

VILLAGER #1:
Build a bridge out of her.

BEDEVERE:
Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?

VILLAGER #1:
Oh, yeah.

RANDOM:
Oh, yeah. True. Uhh...

BEDEVERE:
Does wood sink in water?

VILLAGER #1:
No. No.

VILLAGER #2:
No, it floats! It floats!

VILLAGER #1:
Throw her into the pond!

CROWD:
The pond! Throw her into the pond!

BEDEVERE:
What also floats in water?

VILLAGER #1:
Bread!

VILLAGER #2:
Apples!

VILLAGER #3:
Uh, very small rocks!

VILLAGER #1:
Cider!

VILLAGER #2:
Uh, gra-- gravy!

VILLAGER #1:
Cherries!

VILLAGER #2:
Mud!

VILLAGER #3:
Uh, churches! Churches!

VILLAGER #2:
Lead! Lead!

ARTHUR:
A duck!

CROWD:
Oooh.

BEDEVERE:
Exactly. So, logically...

VILLAGER #1:
If... she... weighs... the same as a duck... she's made of wood.

BEDEVERE:
And therefore?

VILLAGER #2:
A witch!

VILLAGER #1:
A witch!

CROWD:
A witch! A witch!...

VILLAGER #4:
Here is a duck. Use this duck.
[quack quack quack]

BEDEVERE:
Very good. We shall use my largest scales.

CROWD:
Ohh! Ohh! Burn the witch! Burn the witch! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Ahh! Ahh...

BEDEVERE:
Right. Remove the supports!
[whop]
[clunk]
[creak]

CROWD:
A witch! A witch! A witch!

WITCH:
It's a fair cop.

VILLAGER #3:
Burn her!

CROWD:
Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn! Burn!